February 6, 2011

The fairytale of Ihrbub and his Epapsam

Dark HouseImage by Ritz Nash via Flickr

I wish to tell you a fairytale.
There was once a man called Ihrbub.
Ihrbub lived in a dark, dark environment. Everywhere around him there was light. But where Ihrbub came it always became dark and heavy.
Ihrbub could not help it. He was born that way. It was just a matter of fact and a fact of life for Ihrbub that where he came, there it was dark.
How would you feel to be in dark places always? Would you not feel terrible?
Ihrbub felt like you would have felt. He felt miserable all the time. The world where he came was dark and he always felt bad.
When Ihrbub looked out from his window, he saw other houses where it was light. Because Ihrbub desired so much for the light, he went to those houses. But always when he went into such a house, it became very quickly dark there. Then Ihrbub went back home, disappointed. He sat himself in his lazy chair and he took it easy for himself, and then he was thinking and thinking. How could it be that in the house it was dark? When Ihrbub had looked at it, the house was still glowing.
Ihrbub sat in his lazy chair. He had bought a special comfortable chair for himself. When he sat himself down in that chair, he could easily forget about the difficult demands of life. In his lazy chair, Ihrbub could sit and sit and be lazy, just as he liked it.
After he had sat in the lazy chair for long time, and his bottom began to really ache, Ihrbub looked out from the window again. There was the house that he had visited one day ago. Yes, Ihrbub could easily sit in his lazy chair for one day before he would stand up. And if his buttocks had not hurt him so much from sitting all the time, Ihrbub would not at all yet have stood up.
The house that he had visited was really dark now. So Ihrbub decided to visit another house. There it was still nice. And what was more important even: In that house he had seen a beautiful woman.
There was nothing so splendid as to meet a beautiful woman. A woman is soft. A woman is sexy. A woman likes Ihrbub’s friendly smiles. You must know that this was a special talent of Ihrbub. He could smile better than anybody else. He had practiced smiling in his lazy chair. Smiling did not take as much energy as working or walking.
Ihrbub decided to visit the light house with the beautiful woman. Ihrbub went into the house. How could it be? As soon as Ihrbub entered the house, the light had gone. It had become a dark house as soon as Ihrbub entered the house.
Even the woman felt rather dark when she saw Ihrbub. She did not really want to meet him and closed the door for him.
Ihrbub put himself in his lazy chair again. For a few years he was sitting there, until his bottom was again rather painful and even Ihrbub had gotten enough of sitting lazily.
He had thought out something great. He knew that wherever he came, everything turned dark. Because of that darkness the people could not see anymore how great Ihrbub really was. Therefore, Ihrbub had to make clear to the people how magnificent he was.
Ihrbub had invented something for this. He had invented a machine. It was an “Empty-Promises-And Pledges-Selling-Always-Machine.” In this story, the Empty-Promises-And-Pledges-Selling-Always-Machine will further be called EPAPSAM.
The EPAPSAM was really a great invention. Ihrbub always carried his EPAPSAM with him. And when he entered the houses full of light, or he met people from whom he wanted money, or when he met with beautiful women, he just let his EPAPSAM work and then Ihrbub got everything that he wanted.
Now there is no fairytale without a good ending. Do you think the ending was that Ihrbub managed to get a lot of money, all the sexy women he wanted, and also position and glory, and a light and heavenly atmosphere around him?
Do you think this is the happy ending of this story?
Then i must disappoint you. This history ended in a completely different way.
For many years, Ihrbub went around with his EPAPSAM. And everywhere he went, it became dark, but the people did not realize it because the EPAPSAM made their minds confused. They let Ihrbub in their houses and there he sold his empty promises. When the house had become very dark, the people did not realize who had made darkness to them. It had become too dark for them to see and realize anything.
If not something very special had happened; Ihrbub could have gone on for the rest of his existence. The EPAPSAM was really an awesome invention.
But Ihrbub had forgotten one thing. He needed an energy source for his EPAPSAM. For this he had chosen the energy source that provided also energy for the light in the beautiful houses around him.
On one day, the person responsible for giving out this energy, his name is Giving-Out-Diamonds, he realized that a lot of energy was wasted somewhere. Giving-Out-Diamonds investigated all his customers. Yes, there was one customer who used extraordinary much energy. That was Ihrbub with his EPAPSAM. The EPAPSAM needed so much energy.
Giving-Out-Diamonds decided to cut off the energy to the house of Ihrbub. He did not pay his bills, so he got no energy anymore.
That was the end of this story.
Is it not a happy ending?
I don’t know what has happened to Ihrbub.
I only know that Giving-Out-Diamonds did not lose his energy anymore. The houses and friends of Ihrbub all felt very much better. Their houses always were glowing, since they did not meet Ihrbub anymore.
Maybe Ihrbub is still sitting in his lazy chair, with terribly swollen and sensitive buttocks. Who knows…..

July 2, 2002

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